5 Reasons I’m Not Playing re Priscilla’s Personal Development List

September 17th, 2007 · 16 Comments

Des Walsh is a cluey guy and one that I often agree with, and when it comes to the recent Personal Development List that Priscilla Palmer compiled then we are completely on the same page.

Much like Des, I was both surprised and honoured to be included on the Personal Development list - although I am a little baffled how Working Solo’s technology and business ramblings fall into personal development. I would have thought I was a little more professional development rather than traditional personal development.

I will acknowledge Priscilla for the work that she put into the list and will say that there are a number of blogs listed that I personally read (some a even clients of mine) but you won’t be seeing me “joining in” by reproducing the list here.

I’ve stopped playing tag - even though the list is a wonderful resource and Priscilla must have put considerable work into compiling the initial version, it struck me a little like the games of tag that have become popular on blogs. I have participated in some of these in the past but this one strikes me as a little to much like the dreaded chain letter (you know the one where you need to add you rname to the bottom and pass it on to 5 friends - yuk!)
Duplication for the sake of it - this list can be found on many, many, many sites so there is little or no value in duplicating it here. It might be nice for the “link-love” but I find lists of links without context are generally a short-lived exercise.
Should, must or have-to - ever since I was a kid whenever someone said that I “must” or “should” it was code for me to do the exact opposite. There are some people on the personal development list that have been leaving comments for some who hadn’t joined in, trying to goad or guilt us into playing along by phrasing it in the form of a challenge. For me it came in the guise of a comment from Mel. Quite frankly I don’t find it “a challenge that you add additional sites that fit the theme and post the entire list” (many people that I am lucky enough to call a friend are wonderful personal development practitioners) and in fact such a “challenge” to do like everybody else is doing makes me want to stand-alone from the crowd.
Recognition where recognition is due - when I come across a site that deserves a mention, a comment or a recommendation I will do so and in doing so I will provide some further commentary and comment about what you the reader might expect by following that link.
Last but not least, my readers may not be interested in a long-winded list of names and sites. The purpose of this site is to help demystify some aspects of technology for small business and to provide commentary on life as a “working solo” entrepreneur. I am happy for you, my readers, to correct me on this one but I don’t believe that reproducing such as list provides much benefit to you.

Call me a grumpy old woman if you like but I’m happy with my decision.

Tags: How to Improve Your Blog

16 responses so far ↓

1 Rosa Say // Sep 17, 2007 at 6:01 pm

Well said Leah.
Guess I’m a grumpy old woman too! Mel brought it out in me as well:
http://www.sayleadershipcoaching.com/mwacoaching/2007/09/sunday-mlama–2.html#comment-82998425
2 Pete Aldin // Sep 18, 2007 at 8:16 am

With you on all points, but particularly #3 and #5! I had one of those posted and perpetrating the list meme actually comment on my blog and tell me (nicely enough) that I should be putting the list up. My reply comment was “Sure when I’m finished my carnival… and how about commenting on the post here?”

But now you make me think of it, I won’t.

I’m getting sick of these kinds of things too. They’re a great way to push your site up the technorati rankings quickly if that’s important to you but apart from that, after they’ve been done once they just waste space.
3 Priscilla Palmer // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:01 am

Hello Leah, I just want to let you know that I respect your descision not to post the list. As I did with Des Walsh. The intention of the list was not to bug others into participation but, rather to provide a resource for those people like me who spent hours searching the web for good personal development sites.

I believe I need to speak to Mel myself about his approach in pushing others (although I believe him to be well meaning), this is certainly not the way I wish for things to be handled.

That said- I hope you have a fantastic day!
4 Karen Wallace // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:47 am

Go, Leah, go! And here’s to grumpy old women.

I was added to the list very early on, when it was shiny and new and inspiring (and was most honoured to be added by Joanna), but I too admit to being quite disillusioned by what has happened since. I haven’t moderated the three comments I got that were ‘off topic’ - preferring not to allow them to interrupt my regular commenters who actually read what I have to say.

And agree totally about not reproducing the list.

It is a real pity though, that something that could be powerful has just become a link-fest.
5 Joanna Young // Sep 18, 2007 at 9:48 am

I had a similar reaction - again to the suggestion from Mel that participants “should” post all the links, and an “invitation” to take part in another challenge - rather than Priscilla’s compilation of the list, which is a good resource for those who want to go and peruse it…

http://coachingwizardry.typepad.com/coachingwizardry/2007/09/youll-never-shi.html

Maybe we should form a list for grumpy old women?! (and men - sorry Pete)

Joanna
6 Leah // Sep 18, 2007 at 2:49 pm

Thank you everyone for your comments so far on this topic. It seems that there is a common theme running through for a number of us.

@Priscilla - thanks for dropping by and clarifying your intention. I agree that you did create a wonderful resource that saves people some searching time. I am sorry for your sake that your intentions were carried away by some over zealous people. I would back up your idea about a chat with Mel.

@Joanna - hehehe … a list for grumpy old women and men of course. I’m there!
7 Priscilla Palmer // Sep 19, 2007 at 12:39 am

I just wanted to let you all know that I did speak with Mel about his challenges, and he has agreed to stop. Also, I want to extend my appologies for any annoyances the list has caused.
8 Leah // Sep 19, 2007 at 3:45 pm

Thanks for the update Priscilla. Both you and Mel have done well to address this quickly and nip it in the bud. A great sign of strong personal development.

I understand that Mel has also posted about this on his blog as well http://mondaymorningpower.blogspot.com/2007/09/400-personal-development-sites-and.html
(although I didn’t see the need to publish the list again
9 Mel // Sep 20, 2007 at 1:47 am

I just wanted to personally apologize to you for the challenge comment. I was out of line in not respecting your personal choice as whether you should post of not post. You did not deserve to see a challenge like that. I regret having left the comment and assure you that I have learned my lesson.
Leah, thank you for the link to my public apology. I though a while about whether I should re-post the list. The main reason was to get to everyone that I challenged, with my apology.
10 Pete Aldin // Sep 20, 2007 at 9:59 am

Good for you Mel. That took humility and courage.
11 Leah // Sep 20, 2007 at 11:48 am

@Mel - Thanks for dropping by and passing on your apology “in person”. As for the regrets I suggest that the words of a great song are in order here “Regrets I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention”.

I hope that now is a time to move on and everyone has learned one more lesson when it comes to commenting and playing tag. Thanks Mel for facilitating that lesson for us.
12 Mel // Sep 21, 2007 at 8:41 am

Leah,
Lesson learned and I agree….. time to move on. I think I will stay away for posting lists for a while.
13 Chris Owen // Sep 22, 2007 at 4:23 pm

Well Leah, I leave my blog reading for a bit and discover this flurry of action!
Your post articulated for me why I had such misgivings about the list.
I was also on the list and was very chuffed to be there as I could see the resources list that Priscilla was trying to achieve. It was amaxing to be in the company of people whose work I love to read and also the people of whom I am GREATLY in awe.
However
14 Chris Owen // Sep 22, 2007 at 4:25 pm

(not sure what happened there - but to continue:)
However I kept finding reasons not to write about it on my own blog without reflecting on my instincts!
Then I too received Mel’s niggles and that tweaked my rebellion button!
This conversation has been great. It has allowed me to see others opinions (and realise I wasn’t alone in my opinions) But the conversation is even better for both Priscilla and Mel taking part with the kind of honesty and action that can ONLY instill respect!
15 Mel // Sep 22, 2007 at 5:49 pm

This whole conversation has been very enlightening for me to see and take part in. My deepest regret (and I do mean regret) is that I had to be the one to start it. I will never look at challenges or tagging again without looking deep within myself as to what will be gained and at what cost. Thank you everyone for taking something very negative and turning it into a very positive experience. I appreciate the honesty and just wish the world outside of the blogesphere could be as open and forgiving.
16 Mel // Sep 22, 2007 at 6:01 pm

One more thing…………Leah, THANK YOU for facilitating this conversation. I have been blogging for only 4 months and I feel like have have gotten more out of these 4 months than I could have at any 4 year university.